05 January 2010

What I Know For Sure

A feeling so intense I can only hope the words somehow mirror it, serve as its reflection- the closest you can have to the real thing. If only there was some way you could have the real thing, too. Is there any way to see a reflection without being in the same space as the object being reflected? Perhaps being in the same space is not enough.. On the other hand I'm convinced that in reading these words- seeing the reflection- you will immediately recognize what's being reflected. So you must know. Because you know.

You know about the feelings. You know about the thoughts. You know why this 'us' thing is something I have faught.
You know I wish I didn't have to. You know I wish I could be there. You know I want to spend my time showing you I care.
You know I understand you. You know you understand me. You know if I could I would cus I should let you and me be we.

But I can't.

This is hard for me. I haven't been here before. So familiar with the man who's too much or too little, you are my just enough. Your style, your smile, your air and your flare. I love it all. But as I imagine an us fighting to stay together through the distance my heart falls. I don't want that for either of us, we've both been through enough.

One day we can face this; at some time we can act on what we feel. But right now all I can give is this appeal:
Live your life to the fullest while I am away. Follow your heart, trust your soul, and careful heeding to what others say.
One day I won't be gone. One day I'll be homebound. And that day if we're still here you know I'll be around.
One day things will work themselves out. And until that day, love, you know what I'm about.

I'd hoped these words would be enough to explain what I'm going through. And I know you know.

So until then,

These words are just our reminder.

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