30 April 2009

Letter to my Lover

Dear Baby,

Life without you is like
a sky without blue I'm like
what would I do if like
you were not true and like
I have no clue! cus like
this is so NEW to like
have something so coool

You're like my
change to the rule and my
brand new day. You're my
every way yes my
winter's May where my
little head can lay if my
day goes astray

29 April 2009


*This is most-definately a work in progress. Just workin on some thoughts. I'm liking it so far though. Read it, tell me what you think!*
They say silence is golden, but to speak up's somethin' platinum.
Take a look around and make a shout for what is happ'nin'.
Stop for just a moment; I gaurantee it won't take long
To see all the hate, rape, debate, too-high stakes, and all the trappins.

We got.
Premature death and life without freedom.
"Limitless chances" met with challenge and confusion
We're loosin.
Sight of the goals for which we first set out
Why don't you take a look around and see what this world's REALLY about.
What good's a message if no one carries it out?
I'm one of faith but times all I'm feelin is doubt for this

World of hunger.
This shameful world of spite.
And this
Place that allows children to sleep bedless at night. Or even
Throws them away if they dont't have the right part
I Wish I was done but, hunnie, this here is just a start.

We got
Financial destitution and sick folks without Care
people in danger but they can't go anywhere

Then there's. Global warmin
Constant warnins
People adorin
All the wrong- the right ignorin.

Un-necessary fights
We betta get right
So that we all might
Pick up and take flight

Not just babies havin babies but what's worse they kill em too
So much judgement I don't judge ya but I wonder what you'd do
If you knew across the waters children dyin left and right
Whose mothers are in morning steady cryin day and night
Who'd do anything for freedom to have a baby boy or girl
As we fight here for freedom to kill the 'fetus'? based on choice.


I know that's touchy. But we gotta think more large
And stop bein so self-centered callin other folks bizarre

Maybe once we just take folks for what they are
We'll have better understanding here at home and abroad

28 April 2009

Ars Poetica

This is not art.

This is not art.
But an unfinished yet unabandoned conclusion.
I'll call it a start:
A beginning incomplete and never-ending, rather fresh and new each blinking eye.

This is not art.
This is me. This is you. This is us, we, them, true.
To some but home to many.
Blue to one, a zone to plenty.
An aching answer unquestioned unadorned
unfathomable, unawakened, unkept, and unsure.

04 April 2009

rhetorical questions

i needed you most tonight and you weren't there। but i needed you most tonight because you weren't there.

-but would i have needed you this badly if you weren't there yesterday? or tommorow? who knows?

i hate being wrong about something so right. i hate being uncertain about something so sure.

i .h a t e knowing who i am and that not being enough. i hate knowing that part of who i am is being who i am not. i hate change- when it aint broke. i HATE stagnation- always.

08 February 2009

rough draft

AS I sit at the keyboard, emotions simultaneously overflowing and stilfed I struggle to find the words in which I usually find much comfort. Then, an epiphany: I can't find them, because they are no longer there. They were once.

And perhaps they still are, only in a new form, with new meaning. I am reaching out to them, whole-heartedly, concerned with what this loss could mean, and they reach back further in the opposite direction.


Not so. It is I who have changed. You see, I reach for words that still mean what they meant when we met, but these words no longer hold the same worth they did then, we have outgrown one another.

Also untrue: I have outgrown them, they haven't changed a bit.

Silly of me to think such terms could stay my crutch forever. Some words must, of course,
those 'the's and 'and's of our life, but not these simple adjectives that we allow to define us. Over time 'nice' must be exchanged for 'amiable' and who are we to hold our 'good' words to the standards of 'exceptional' ones? It's only natural, this transformation, yet somehow still surprising.

Surprising because while we know that over time we must grow, we can never surely say where or how the growth will take place. The comfort offered by the sufficient words we've always used dwindles as "sufficient" is ironically no longer enough.

What then?
Are there any options, really..? You can always add an 'ing' to your 'smirk' but that doesn't make it a 'smile'. The challenge is not in learning the new words, or even in using them. The difficulty arises when the old ones must be pushed into the background.
It says something about us: our decision against repressing those familiar words for new, unpredictable ones. But a choice to move forward says even more.

So, I've chosen for me. Forever at a crossroads where knowing meets doing; it's time to let those 'little words' go.

01 February 2009

well hello there

Hello, World.

I'm Chaina. I'm a thinker, a writer, a lover of people and things. and this is my blog.

on this site you will find all kinds off goodies: works-in-progress, completed poems, songs, and other writings, and the ramblings and insights of a (not so) random mind -which could include just about anything.

have fun. enjoy. and happy blogging.

ps. I like comments. comments are good. wanna chat about it? tweet me:[@cnickole].

The Case for Love

The Case for Love
The Precedent

Some call it the L-word, others spell it L-U-V, but this 4-letter word holds just as much power as its less-than-perfect counterparts. Often misconstrued as just another verb we can use, its changing power proves true and true again- if we let it.

The Opinion

A constant alteration of perception and a never-ending guide, it’s this single word that holds a key so readily available- often duplicated and often more so blatantly ignored, yet hardly ever used properly and to its full effect. The only true key to every city, every heart and every soul- the single-most reliever of this world’s most hurting strife. The shocking way in which to express everything and nothing in a language universally known and understood to man all across this planet.The undeniable approach to the argument unsupported that proclaims no words can express the feelings so many of us share. But it’s the historical presence of this word alone that inherently holds an understanding never-yieldingly clear. More than a feeling or expression, it’s an experience near unreal. Unparalleled by anything, its unbelievable nature is what makes it SO real. If ever there was a thought that asked the question Why are we here? The answer can be found within the lover’s telling smile.

The Dissent

Forever familiar with false connections with those I thought I wanted: I am yearning for the one I know I need. Having grown weary of mediocrity and misconceptions I have to recognize the best things come to those who wait, and so my journey's ended: I no longer can be an active participant in the search for love that is my life. Rather, I must patiently correct within that which I have allowed others to destroy in hopes that there will be another who can somehow be the fulfillment of the one void I can't complete alone. And when his path crosses mine, it is then and only then that I'll be free to be the woman he needs, I need, we need me to be, in a way that proves the sentiment is true...


Understanding my position does not introduce self-doubt. Instead it imlpements encouragement for a reality I can only imagine- for the time being.While there's an acceptance real there is hope steadfast and deadlocked, for realization is never to be confused with defeat.I anticipate my future, I look forward to my fate, and it's with a smile that I let my journey end.

24 May 2008

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