12 October 2010

(unfinished thoughts thrown together to form an unfinished work. read it anyway.)

my face burning with tears that would leave stains for years to come
you're amazing but all the good in the world can't undo the wrong you've done
looking past it only means I'm ignoring what my peripheral vision sees quite clearly
rubbing my temples and rolling my head cus I can't even hear the real me
I know she's speaking but I don't know which voice is her's
the one that's saying leave or the one that says you live and you learn
the one that says to push through for love or the one that says love doesn't look like this
and I can't help feeling like I shot and I missed
the ball spun round the rim a good seven times
thought that was a sign
of surefire victory
began to celebrate having won til you came and tipped the ball off rim straight tripped on me
and this whole time I thought we were on the same team.
one for all and all for we.
but as it turns out is was more like all for he.

is it a crime that I still want you? hell yeah! if it's not it should be. no one should be allowed to give so much, be so much, love SO much and keep comin up short. I've lost my own vision because of a man. thought he gave my voice volume now I see he mutes it instead. curse my inner thirst for this 'He' that I must now realize doens't really exist. death to the lover in me.
the saddest part of it all is that I can't let go. almost tempted to ask why me but I know better. these things wouldn't happen if I just used my own good judegment. but I've ignored it so long I don't even know what it sounds like anymore.
I can't write any more right now.

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