17 March 2010

beautiful lie?

I’m beginning to wonder if any of my male friends actually want to be friends with me. Actually enjoy my company. Actually want to do more than look at me. Or flirt with me. Or touch me. I am beginning to wonder how many of them actually like.. ME.

I’m not trippin off of these random cats. Why would I expect them to be strictly buddy-buddy when they clearly got my number because they were otherwise interested? I won’t even cause a ruckus over these idiots who are somehow under the impression that I “have a lot a niggas on my plate” yet still want a spot of their own. I don’t have to go into how backwards and sick that is- it’s not worth the headache anymore.

But my FRIENDS? Not only do I consider you my close associates- if not friends- but you are undoubtedly connected to the one man I AM messing with. And you know this! And after several reoccurrences I’ve stopped becoming appalled and now go straight to disappointed and frustrated. Not you too!
My girl says I’m crazy for being upset that men find me attractive. “You must be high.”
Nah- I’m hot (pun NOT intended). It has nothing to do with them finding me attractive. I appreciate the compliments. It’s about you trying to be or get more because of that. When multiple men of the same circle try to “go smack” at me it gets old. And I begin to wonder why they keep me around.

Maybe it's just a difference of mindset. Perhaps these guys have a 'fair game' policy in which it's cool for whoever wants to to take a shot. Like some game. I'm just saying I'm not interested in playing.

Part of me wonders who's to blame. Am I sending the wrong signals? Has the main givin the others 'permission' to go for it? Or are these fellas just that bold? But it doesn't really matter.

Just let it be known: I am single &unavailable.

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