14 July 2010

miss

it's natural for me to find myself in you
the commonalities become mirrors rather than coincidence
home, rather than something like it
me, and not some extension thereof

everytime you come around
I find myself in yourself
define myself by your wealth
which is also mine, of course
see those things we see the same
cast aside those we don't cus they're so mundane
(compared to all we share)
compare our worlds
contrast our unalikes until they too aren't such extremes afterall

recall
how closely related they are if I
turn my head and squint like this
or
close my eyes and reminisce
on
something resembling someone who's whisper I miss
miss
miss..
(hm. no that can't be it)

cus nothing can be missing
if I am with you
and am complete
as I add to your puzzle, fulfill my best feat
made whole
by making you so
but
(what?)

doesn't the
missing piece
have a shape of her own?
before finding her place in you?

not that you are me
nor that my meness shows you you
but that the edges of my insides and yours are congruent
which doesn't take away from its meaning
but also doesn't define your or my being

only our own shapes (and not the molds) can do that.
so I guess what I've missed is.. everything.

I talked to my friend Zach last night. During the conversation he gave me the most perfect analogy (which he tends to do). He told me to define myself in ways that didn't include others. I caaaaan't, I told him. I mean I could, I just felt those things that were characteristic of me separate from others were unimportant. Who cares if I'm smart or talented, for example, if I'm not using my gifts to benefit or enlighten the people! As I discussed my tendencies to strive and take pride the most in situations involving an other or group of others, he explained that while it is very important I recognize my relationship to the whole, or 'the puzzle', I must first recognize how I can fit into that puzzle by knowing what I look like/have to offer to the puzzle as an individual piece. Makes perfect sense, right? Yeah. I thought so too.

 
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